Exercise Shouldn’t Feel This Hard: How to Get Started When You’re Overwhelmed

If you’ve ever thought “I know I should exercise, but I just don’t know where to start”, you’re certainly not alone.

For women in midlife, getting started with exercise can feel surprisingly complicated. We’re constantly being told what we should be doing:

Strength training twice a week.

150 minutes of cardio.

HIIT.

Zone 2.

Walking 10,000 steps.

Pilates.

Yoga.

Mobility.

Balance training.

Weight training for bone health.

Exercise for heart health.

Exercise for menopause.

Exercise for brain health.

And then there are the conflicting messages about what type of exercise is best, how hard you should work, whether you should exercise fasted, what your heart rate should be, how many sets and repetitions you need, and whether you should be exercising according to your hormones.

It’s enough to make you want to give up before you’ve even started.

The problem isn't that women don't know exercise is important

Most women already know that movement is good for them. The problem is that exercise has become increasingly complicated. There is an enormous amount of information available, but more information doesn't necessarily make it easier to take action. In fact, it can do the opposite.

When we are presented with too many choices, too many rules and too many things we feel we should be doing, we can experience something called decision fatigue.

Instead of thinking:

“I'll go for a walk.”

We start thinking:

Should I walk or lift weights? How long should I walk for? What intensity should I use? Should I do Zone 2? I haven't done my strength session this week. Maybe I should do a workout instead. I don't have an hour. I'll start properly on Monday.

And suddenly, we've done nothing.

You don't need the perfect exercise program to get started

One of the most useful behavioural principles when starting a new habit is to make the first step as easy as possible. The goal isn't to create your perfect lifelong exercise routine on day one. The goal is simply to start moving. A 10-minute walk is better than the perfect workout you never do. Five minutes of strength exercises is better than waiting until you have an hour available. Getting up from your chair several times throughout the day counts. Taking the stairs when you can counts. Doing some balance exercises while you're waiting for the kettle to boil counts. These things might seem small, but they help create something much more important: the identity of someone who moves regularly AND a consistent pattern of movement.

7 simple strategies to make exercise feel easier

1. Start ridiculously small

If exercise currently feels overwhelming, don't start with an ambitious program. Start with something that feels almost too easy.

Try:

• 5–10 minutes of walking

• 5 minutes of simple strength exercises

• one lap around the block

• a few sit-to-stands from a chair

• some gentle mobility while watching television

You can always do more. But you don't have to. The important thing is to remove the psychological barrier of “I need to do a proper workout.” Sometimes the hardest part is simply getting started. In exercise physiology circles this is also known as “the 10 minute rule” - you commit to 10 minutes and if you dont want to continue you give yourself permission to stop. But 99% of the time after 10 minutes you are into your movement and will keep going.

2. Stop relying on motivation, rely on ACTION instead

This is a big one. We often assume that we need to feel motivated before we exercise. Unfortunately, motivation is unreliable. Some days you will feel energetic and enthusiastic. Other days you won't. Instead of waiting for motivation, create a simple routine that requires as little decision-making as possible.

For example:

After my morning coffee, I walk for 10 minutes.

Or:

Every Tuesday and Thursday after work, I do 20 minutes of strength exercises.

The behaviour becomes attached to something you already do. You don't have to repeatedly negotiate with yourself about whether you're going to exercise. ACTION comes before motivation and ACTION most often creates the motivation.

3. Make the decision in advance

The more decisions you have to make, the easier it is to put exercise off. So decide beforehand:

What?
Walking.

When?
After breakfast.

Where?
Around the neighbourhood.

How long?
10 minutes.

That's it. You don't need to decide what workout you're doing when the time comes. You've already made the decision. This is sometimes called an implementation intention: creating a specific when, where and how for a behaviour makes it easier to follow through.

4. Use the "minimum version"

This is one of my favourite strategies. Create a minimum version of your exercise routine for days when you don't feel like doing it.

For example:

Your normal goal might be:

30-minute strength workout.

Your minimum version might be:

10 minutes and three exercises.

If you have more energy once you start, fantastic. Do the full workout. But if you don't, you've still succeeded. This is particularly useful during busy periods, poor sleep, stressful weeks or times when menopause symptoms are making everything feel harder. The aim isn't perfection. It's maintaining the habit.

5. Focus on consistency rather than intensity

We can become very focused on whether an exercise session was "hard enough". But when you're trying to establish a habit, consistency matters enormously. A manageable 20-minute session that you do twice a week is far more useful than an exhausting 60-minute workout that leaves you sore and you don't repeat for another three weeks.

Think:

"What can I realistically keep doing?"

rather than:

"What's the most effective workout I could possibly do?"

Those are two very different questions.

Once you have a firm grasp on consistency, the specifics of the exercise you need to reach your specific goals can come later.

6. Attach exercise to something you already enjoy OR to something you already do - Habit stacking

Exercise doesn't have to be another chore on your list. Think about ways to make movement more enjoyable. Listen to your favourite podcast while walking. Walk with a friend. Put on music you love while doing your strength exercises. Take your dog somewhere different. Exercise outside. Join a small group where you enjoy the social connection. Find an activity that makes you feel good rather than one you think you should be doing. And remember that the best exercise is often the exercise you're willing to keep doing.

Habit stacking involves adding a new habit you want to promote to an already existing habit ie: 10 squats while you wait for the kettle to boil, standing on one leg for balance while you clean your teeth, walk back and forward from your door to your mailbox 3 times before you collect the mail - ways to get in small amounts of movement throughout the day to increase your total daily movement.

7. Don't let one missed session become a missed week

This is another incredibly common trap. You miss Monday's workout. Then Tuesday is busy. By Wednesday you think, "I've already ruined the week." So you wait until Monday to start again. Instead, use the rule:

Never miss twice if you can help it.

Miss Monday? Do something on Tuesday. Miss your gym session? Go for a 10-minute walk. Didn't have time for your full workout? Do the minimum version. One missed session doesn't matter. The danger is the story we tell ourselves afterwards.

And remember: movement doesn't have to look like exercise

We sometimes separate "exercise" from the rest of our lives. But your body doesn't know whether you're in activewear doing a formal workout or carrying shopping bags, walking up stairs or getting up and down from the floor. Structured exercise is important—particularly as we get older, when resistance training, cardiovascular exercise, balance and activities that challenge our bones become increasingly valuable. But everyday movement matters too. Think about adding movement rather than only finding time to exercise.

Could you:

• Walk while making a phone call?

• Park a little further away?

• Take the stairs?

• Get up from your desk every 30–60 minutes?

• Walk around the block after dinner?

• Do a few squats or calf raises while waiting for the kettle?

• Spend some time gardening?

• Walk with a friend instead of meeting for coffee?

These small opportunities can add up.

What if you've been inactive for a long time?

This is where many women get stuck. They think they need to become "fit enough" before starting exercise. You don't. Exercise is how you become fitter. You don't need to be strong before you start strength training. You don't need to be fit before you start walking. You don't need good balance before you start balance exercises. And you certainly don't need to know exactly what you're doing.

If you're unsure what is safe or appropriate for you—particularly if you have health conditions, pain, injuries, significant weakness or you've been inactive for a long time—getting advice from an Accredited Exercise Physiologist can be a great place to start. A good exercise program should meet you where you are now, rather than where you think you should be.

Think about the next step, not the next six months

Perhaps the biggest mindset shift is this: You don't need to work out how you're going to exercise for the rest of your life. You only need to work out what you're going to do today.

Could you walk for 10 minutes?

Could you do five sit-to-stands?

Could you go outside for some fresh air?

Could you book an exercise session?

Could you put your walking shoes by the door tonight so they're ready tomorrow morning?

Small actions create momentum. And momentum makes the next action easier.

Your starting point can be very small

If exercise has started to feel confusing, overwhelming or like another thing you're failing at, take a step back. Forget the perfect program for a moment. Forget the latest fitness trend. Forget how much exercise you think you should be doing. Start with something simple.

Move a little more.

Do something you enjoy.

Make it easy to repeat.

Build from there.

You don't have to do everything. You just have to start somewhere. And sometimes, 10 minutes today is the most important workout you'll do all week.